Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Last days and (almost) new beginnings

See the giant red box? It was a big moment worth a Sharpie.

Today was my last day in the office until October, when I return from my maternity leave. I'm also taking a bit of vacation before the 22nd in hopes of avoiding any drama with the placenta previa, and to try to mitigate the size of my ever-swelling feet and ankles. (Note: New York City in July is NOT the best place for a pregnant woman to be shuffling around to work and back.)

It was really, really weird and I didn't think I'd be quite so affected by it. I spent hours tying up loose ends, writing memos, transferring files, and packing my desk up for the office-wide move that will be taking place in September while I'm out.

Doesn't it look so sad and empty?!

It felt a little bit like the last day at camp, saying goodbye to your friends, everyone asking to stay in touch ("And send pictures of the little one!!"), packing up all your stuff...

Obviously I'm so very excited about welcoming our daughter to the world. I'm also nervous and anxious and full of about a thousand different conflicting emotions - I've never been a mom before! I've no idea what it's going to be like, the ways it's going to change my life. I've wanted this for years and, now that it's finally right around the corner, I find myself completely overwhelmed by the giant unknownness of it.

I've never been a carefree gal (thanks, diabetes). I'm an obsessive planner, a to-do list taskmaster, an overthinker - the unknown and I are not exactly bosom buddies. But I've got B in my foxhole, and it's beyond reassuring to know we've taken this leap of faith, this giant open-armed "What will be will be" step into an utter question mark of a future, together.

So come on, baby girl. Your momma might be an anxious mess when we meet, but it's all going to work out just fine. Can't wait to meet you next Friday.


  1. I'm so excited for you! I feel like the internet makes other people's pregnancies progress at warp speed; I feel like you just announced your condition a couple of weeks ago.

    Do you think I could take some maternity leave even if I'm not pregnant? No?

  2. Oh good luck, Karen! I can't wait to hear the good news and see pics!

  3. Can't wait to hear of the arrival next week :)

  4. Next Friday???? Okay, I'm so behind on blog reading that next Friday is actually TOMORROW!!!! Yay, so excited for you!!